It’s So Personal I Felt I Should Not Have Been Reading It

 After reading “A GRIEF OBSERVED” by CS Lewis, I put the book down and felt that I was reading a man’s private journal that was not meant for me. In the introduction, Lewis says it was his private thoughts and he never meant for these thoughts to become a book, but later he acquiesced and let it go to print.  What you are reading is  probably the “rawest” Lewis you could ever read.  It’s not really a book but his journal after his wife’s death, Joy Davidman.


Sometimes I feel like I should not be reading it because of how personal it is.  You see how he processes his faith  during the most tragic moment of his life.  Listen attentively to how he processes his biggest struggle. These words are epic:b “not that I am in danger of ceasing to believe in God; the real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him…The conclusion I dread is not “so there is no God after all” but “so this is what God’s really like.”


“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you….it is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box.  But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice.  Wouldn’t you then first discover how much you really trusted it?”

C.S. Lewis

2 thoughts on “It’s So Personal I Felt I Should Not Have Been Reading It”

  1. I grabbed ahold of that book after our firstborn son died. I clung to it with all my heart, because of how raw it was. I was amazed how much I felt like he did. It’s one amazing read for sure!

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